this summer is going to be so much fun
and its going to be filled with love.
in my family i have 2weddings comeing up
and im lucky enough to walk in both.
one is in July the other in August
both by my two older cousins.
i also graduate which is another achievement.
my nephew is graduating and going off to high school.
im moving away for school,
and my sister is going back to school.
this summer is going to be filled with happy tears
and lots of gatherings and parties.
im also going to spend alot of time with all of my friends
in and out of school
makeing sure i savvor every moment.
i plan to go out alot
and just do everything that i wanted to do before.
i turn 18 in june.
so i wont really have a problem either.
im going to be working
making money to save up for school
in cases of emergency.
but i can tell you one thing.
i know im going to miss my brooklyn life style alot.
but most of all
besides my family and friends.
im going to miss my goddaughter.
the more she grows.
the less she'll see me..
and when i come back she'll forget that i ever exsisted because shes still a baby
((another tear drop))

Senior Week

for senior week i have so many things in mind.
i want to go to gradnight at six flags
i think that would be hella fun
i want to go on a boat ride where
everyone has to dress up and look elegant.
i want to have picnics in the park
a real park.
a nice park.
i want to have movie nights
and trips where we can all come together.
with just the SENIORS
and the staff.
Senior Week will be our last week together...
as a U.A.M.A. senior student class...
((Tear Drop))

PrOm

Omg i cannot wait till prom.
i already have my dress and shoes
all i need now is my acessories, make-up and hair
my dress is green
but i wont say how it looks or the designer
because i dont want anyone coping me.
prom night is going to be hella fun.
me and some of the kids from school are getting in a party bus to and after prom
to where ever we decide to go.
i know i want to party like i never been to one in my life
and i plan on doing so.
i cant wait to see how everyone is going to look
with there dresses and make-up and shoes.
i wonder if there going to do prom king and queen
that would be fun too.
i cant wait to get our yearbooks and tee-shirts
mostly the yearbook because everyone put so much effort forth towards the job
and meeting the headline..
i cant wait till i have to stop worrying about school work.

graduation.

i cant believe that my four years of high school are about to be over.
that I'm graduating and going off to college.
that I'm about to be an adult by law
and that I'll be parting ways from all of my friends and family,
because no1 else is going to my school.
Binghamton will be fun and i will meet new people.
but its also going to be hard having no back bone.
its not like when i came to U.A.M.A. and had no 1 that i knew from my Jr.H.S.
I'm away.
with a roommate that i might not like.
in a different place of N.Y. that I'm not use to.
at graduation I'm going to cry
this i know for a fact.
Tears of joy and sadness..
to see my peers graduating is another thing that i know will touch my heart majorly.
to leave the teachers and school that I've come so familiar with.
wow...I'm a big girl now((like the Huggies commercial))

im happy i got a new phone, but at the same time i miss my old pink baby.
my new phone is blue and its a Palm by Cingular.
I like that its new and touch screen and stuff,
but im really just a simple girl
so i always felt like my simple phone fitted me.
when my friends found out that i got a new phone they were so surprised.
they made ton of jokes and stuff which was funny.
everyone is so stuck on materialistic things that they dont understand
that sometimes simplicity is the way to go.
and its so funny because i went to the Cingular store
to see if they could transfer my information
and when the Cingular helper seen my old phone
even he made jokes on it(lol)
i wasnt offended..it was pretty funny..
but what was even funnier was that he tried
to get me to get a newer phone
because he said my verison was the 1 from two yrs ago..
i guess i could never be on time with the phone fashion((lol))

being extra...

I want to be your arms, I want to feel your touch,I want your lips on mine, I need you very much.

this quote is touching. to describe what you want from a person. to long for a persons touch and smell must mean that you really love the person. to crave them near you, to need them shows that its more than just a physical thing, but a mental connection between the peoples.

although i wasnt raised in a household where this was seen, and came natural, this is the feeling that i want to have for the person i marry and have kids with. i would rather this feeling of this type of committment where both parties r committed, than a life where im dating for years on end.

poetry...

growing up i always loved poems weather they rhymed or not,as long as they had a purpose. i love to write poetry when i feel inspired but for the most part i read a lot of it. this month my favorite poem is

POEM OF THE WEEK
My Angel by Sarah
For you my sweet angel I would die
I'd pick all the stars from the sky
And give them all just for you
To let you know how much I love you

My angel I'll love you through all eternity
I would do anything for you sweetie
I wrote this poem from my heart
To let you know your my sweetheart

Please stay with me forever
Take my hand and lets be together
Lets fly up to the heavens above
And show everyone we are in love

...
i loved this poem so much because it just seemed real. every word felt like it was genuine and that she meant it. while reading the poem i felt like it was talking to me, for some reason it sounded personal, like something i could of made myself.

Dating...

dating to me seems to get harder the older you get. when i first started talking to guys and having boyfriends it was much easier for me to find somebody that i liked, but i guess because I'm getting older and pickier and I'm coming to the understanding of what a "boyfriend" should look like its harder for me to find a "guy". the type of guys that i dated when i was younger was "the gangsters". i liked the exciting life that they held, and the fact that they were known, respected and so many people were afraid of them.growing up i always felt as though i was more matured for my age, and even now i still feel the same way. but i could look at myself and see a change.now that I'm older i like guys with more appropriate personalities that i can have an intellectual conversation with,dress nice,family orientated,tall and funny.i just don't find anything interesting in a person that cant apply themselves anymore.
this friday im suppose to be going out on a date, i've been talking to this guy for a little while now, and alothough i know that he's not the right guy for me, and that we'll never be together, something about him just wont let me let him go, i think its because he always keeps a smile on my face, even when im mad at him. like he brings out the kid in me.

my day...

What a day. I can honestly say that hanging out with my friends never get boring...like ever. Its amazing how we can just hang out and laugh and have so much fun with each other.On Saturday were going to a party together which is going to be so much fun, I love to party, but partying with my close friends is just a whole nother situation(lol).Something about parties just brings out the other side of and allows me to break free and just relax, which is strange because your around a whole bunch of people that you just don't no. After the party on Saturday we plan on sleeping at shavette house which is like a party all in itself.I love families that's welcoming and taking the friends in like family.I cant wait for my weekend to start, its going to just be full of fun

mojito...more that wat meets the eye

i think that its funny that the teachers and school mates in my school think that me and my friends are just girls that like to get wild, when in all actuality its more than that. were young women who have goals ahead of us,and have a good head on our shoulders. personally i think that my personal life doesnt concern anyone. but its w.e i guess some people get a blast from hearing about other peoples happy fun lives since theres is so boring.
my and my gurls do everything...
>baby showers > shopping
>parties > we cry together
>sleep overs > help eachother
>girl talk > videos(movies, raps,dancing)
>movies
>dinner
>outtings
like its really more than what meets the eye with us.

food

Lately i've been trying to be on a diet and eat well, but it hasnt been working for me so good. its not that im doing bad i just think that i can do better with the choices i make. i realized that i eat alot of candy and chocolate and now i see that i have a cavity which is really bugging me out. but really the only reason that i eat so much chocolate is not because i love it so much, but because i use it as a meal. for instance when i work till late and i know that they didnt cook at home, i would eat a snikers bar to keep me because i know when i get home i wont want to cook or order anything. so in all actuality its not really my fault, its part my family fault because they dont cook enough.((lol)) i am happy though that when i got in the house today i can smell the wonderful taste of the home cooked meal i was about to have. my aunt made white rice with turkey neck and steak and bean sauce(yum yum)lol. i made sure to have a little serving but enough to fill me because it was late and i still had to watch for my diet, but i cant deny that she put her foot in it:)
sometimes all i want is home cooked meals and sometimes all i want is junkfood. i dont think that means theres anything wrong with me, i think everyone goes through that, and thats about the only thing that makes me make sense to people...

...Alvin Ailey....

Today was amazing. i was honored with the opportunity to go and see a Alvin Ailey dance show. Ailey Dance Theater has been around for about 50yrs. i remember studying about Alvin Ailey last year and i found out that he died from aids, which sadden me because he was such a passionate and devoted dancer.
in the beginning of this year i was blessed with the choice of dancing with the A.A. crew, but because of my laziness i never got to it. watching the dancers tonight made me regret my decision. i loved the way that they made the art speak to the audience. {or was it just me, because I'm a dancer, so i could see from a dancers view}
i don't know but the pieces really amazed me(I'm surprised i didn't cry)
from the unity piece, to the love piece. even the outfits that they chose to wear, and the music and background that they picked. it just made everything come together for me,and all i could do was look in aw and wish that it was me on that stage that everyone was memorized over.
it wasn't only my first time going to a Alvin Ailey show, but also my first time being at the Apollo. It was so exciting to know that i was looking at the stage that some of the most remarkable artist performed.
this will be a day that i write about in my journal tonight before i go to sleep, and keep locked away in my memory to share with my kids and anyone else that's willing to listen...:)